October 23rd - October 29th, 2010

Text by: Robert Seidelman

*Note:  If the pictures aren't that good, it's because I had to take them from my cell phone camera.*

Ok, I know that I said this segment would probably be littered with bad 5th Grader answers, but so far this season, nothing has fit the bill.  I mean, most of the questions that have been missed to my recall have been either 4th grade questions or hard 3rd grade questions.  But have no fear, we have finally come to meeting that moment.  Our first Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader Dumb Answer of the week winner.  Oddly enough it happened during the Pet Lovers week.  Where, we had seen two shameless contestants dress up their dogs in human clothing.  But those two aren't the ones being grilled here.  No, here we have a Uromastyx...aka a fancy name for a lizard named Reggie & his owner, Parker Delon.

Awww, look at the happy couple.  It should be noted that in the beginning, he thought that Reggie was a he, but instead it turned out to be a she when she laid about 11 or so eggs in front of him.  So already, we're not starting on the right foot.  We start off our game with Parker getting a first grade Spelling question right, and it's followed up by this 2nd grade Measurements question.

"Which of the Following is the longest amount of time.  1/10th of an hour, 8 minutes, or 900 seconds?"

Parker gets confused that Jeff says he could even ask his Uromastyx, Reggie for some advice.  But unfortunately for Parker, he's not even paying attention.  I'm assuming he's busy looking at another contestants snake, that's watching in the audience.  Reggie then decides to not use a cheat this early and decides that the longest is 1/10th of an hour.

Ok, time for some math here.  An hour is 60 minutes.  1/10th of 60 is 6 minutes.  So now we know that it's wrong.  60 seconds in a minute...

900 seconds is 15 seconds and is the longest amount of time.  I guess when Reggie doesn't pay attention, Parker suffers.  So, it's safe to say that Reggie is the brains of the outfit & Parker is the human dummy in this relationship.  Kinda reminds me of how Lassie was the smartest thing in her TV show with all of the townspeople, including Timmy were dumber than most of the contestants on this show.

Anyways, we proceed on with Reggie being put in the back for safe keeping, or the studio got cold and she fell asleep.   After he blows the rest of his bank on a bad Copy, he's all alone with this last question in 1st Grade Grammar.

"What part of speech is the word "Yellow" in the following sentence, 'The Yellow Rose smelled nice'"?

Parker, without his brain on his shoulder was lost and had to say the first thing to come to his mind, which was Pronoun and locked it in.  Jeff asks the class and they respond Adjective, because an Adjective describes a noun.

And that was the right answer.  Parker leaves with nothing more than a lizard egg, or a Uromastyx egg. 

So, we see someone blowing it all on a first grade and a second grade question.  I guess it certainly pays to actually think for yourself instead of relying on a lizard that 99% of the world couldn't spell her name right.  And I'm talking about Uromastyx and not Reggie.

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