Dumb Answer of the Week
What Happens When You Speak Before You Think.
June 4th - June 11th,
Text by: Robert Seidelman
Garbage's coverage of the new season of Lingo continues with this week's
Dumb Answer of the Week article.
In my commentary on the newly revamped Lingo, I pretty much called out
the show's contestant coordinators for focusing on personality over
playing ability. Okay, I flat out called the contestant coordinators a
bunch of asses. Strong words, I know, but judging by the teams on the
first aired episode of Lingo this past Monday, I think you'll find I'm
Michelle & Melissa...
Candace & Toni!
Before we even get to any stupid answers, we get to a stupid human
trick. Michelle has the ability to suck her nose in.
GOD! Okay, I'm kinda creeped out right now." - Bill Engvall
*Insert joke about just how Michelle learned how to suck her nose in
and/or that being a reason she's missing a few teeth here*
Now to the game. The first round featured Michelle & Melissa giving the
word "e-mail" as a guess. Hyphenated words aren't permitted on the show,
and I won't lambast them for it too badly.
What I will lambast is an absolutely dumb guess from jump street in
Round 2 from Candace & Toni.
The clue is "use your lips". And we get this gem of an answer from Toni.
(BUZZ) Uh, put an S on it!"
Way to go ladies! Play passes to Michelle & Melissa. But, after giving
"Flame" a try, Melissa guesses...
F-L-I-T-E. (BUZZ) That's not even a word."
So, a case of the dumb-dumbs on each side & thanks to a bonus letter
Candace & Toni arrive at the correct answer, "Flute".
Oh, it gets worse (or better for the purposes of this site).
The first word of Round 3 has the following clue: "Always comes in the
end". The word begins with a D, and, you know what's coming...
Dicks! D-I-C-K-S!" (Said in unison)
will be my last show on Lingo."
Candace & Toni then go from one orifice to another.
even going to read the clue again."
After failing with the much cleaner guesses of "Dodge" & "Dings", play
passes to Michelle & Melissa who get a bonus letter added to make the
puzzle "D-E-_-_-_". After guessing "Deals", they only are able to pick
up the A. It was a sensible guess, save for the fact that we already
know an S isn't in the word.
coming back to you, Candace & Toni, as scared as I am right now."
A final bonus letter is added to make the puzzle read, "D-E-A-T-_".
Understood, Dr. Rumack.
And, in the new season of Lingo, that means the word is dead & GSN saves
The word, of course, was Death.
And to put the final nail in the coffin, the very next puzzle with the
clue "arresting development" gives us this equally noteworthy gem from
Candace & Toni.
Play passed to their opponents and they sealed the game with the correct
I usually have something witty to say at the end of these write-ups.
But, I've got nothing. I'm dumbfounded.
For Game Show Garbage, this is Little Jimmy, and that's "What's Up?"