Dumb Answer of the Week
What Happens When You Speak Before You Think

June 4th - June 11th, 2011

Text by: Jim Williams

Game Show Garbage's coverage of the new season of Lingo continues with this week's Dumb Answer of the Week article.

In my commentary on the newly revamped Lingo, I pretty much called out the show's contestant coordinators for focusing on personality over playing ability. Okay, I flat out called the contestant coordinators a bunch of asses. Strong words, I know, but judging by the teams on the first aired episode of Lingo this past Monday, I think you'll find I'm on point.

Meet Michelle & Melissa...

And Candace & Toni!

Before we even get to any stupid answers, we get to a stupid human trick. Michelle has the ability to suck her nose in.

"OH MY GOD! Okay, I'm kinda creeped out right now." - Bill Engvall

*Insert joke about just how Michelle learned how to suck her nose in and/or that being a reason she's missing a few teeth here*

Now to the game. The first round featured Michelle & Melissa giving the word "e-mail" as a guess. Hyphenated words aren't permitted on the show, and I won't lambast them for it too badly.

What I will lambast is an absolutely dumb guess from jump street in Round 2 from Candace & Toni.

The clue is "use your lips". And we get this gem of an answer from Toni.

"Fings. (BUZZ) Uh, put an S on it!"

Way to go ladies! Play passes to Michelle & Melissa. But, after giving "Flame" a try, Melissa guesses...

"Flite, F-L-I-T-E. (BUZZ) That's not even a word."

So, a case of the dumb-dumbs on each side & thanks to a bonus letter Candace & Toni arrive at the correct answer, "Flute".

Oh, it gets worse (or better for the purposes of this site).

The first word of Round 3 has the following clue: "Always comes in the end". The word begins with a D, and, you know what's coming...

"Oooooh. Dicks! D-I-C-K-S!" (Said in unison)

"Hi! This will be my last show on Lingo."

Candace & Toni then go from one orifice to another.

"Dumps. D-U-M-P-S."

"I'm not even going to read the clue again."

After failing with the much cleaner guesses of "Dodge" & "Dings", play passes to Michelle & Melissa who get a bonus letter added to make the puzzle "D-E-_-_-_". After guessing "Deals", they only are able to pick up the A. It was a sensible guess, save for the fact that we already know an S isn't in the word.

"I'm coming back to you, Candace & Toni, as scared as I am right now."

A final bonus letter is added to make the puzzle read, "D-E-A-T-_".

Surely they can get this, right?

Understood, Dr. Rumack.

And, in the new season of Lingo, that means the word is dead & GSN saves themselves $500.

The word, of course, was Death.

And to put the final nail in the coffin, the very next puzzle with the clue "arresting development" gives us this equally noteworthy gem from Candace & Toni.

"Semen. S-E-M-E-N!"

Play passed to their opponents and they sealed the game with the correct answer "Siren".

I usually have something witty to say at the end of these write-ups. But, I've got nothing. I'm dumbfounded.

For Game Show Garbage, this is Little Jimmy, and that's "What's Up?"

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