#2: WCW 2000 on Double
WrestleCrap + Game Show Garbage = A Mess
For The New Millenium
One of my favorite shows in the entire
world was Double Dare. I mean, who didn't want to go down the Sundae Slide and
get a bucket of slime dumped on them so they can win a few hundred dollars and
win a bike or a Nintendo. The host was the coolest in Marc Summers. To kids, he
was Don Johnson, Bon Jovi and Wink Martindale all rolled into one. Sadly, I wept
a bit when Double Dare got cancelled in 1994. I was happy that Double Dare came
back on the air in 2000. But that changed when I saw the irreparable damage that
the new team has done to the show.
First off, the Host. Jason Harris. He definitely wasn't Marc Summers, or
anywhere close to being Marc Summers. He sounded like his gonads got gnawed off
by the Whammy from Press Your Luck and had all the annoying qualities of Todd
Pettengill. As if the Todd qualities weren't annoying by itself.
Next, the Announcer, Tiffany Phelps. She sounded like your stereotypical black
DJ on your local rap station. Annoying, balmy, and definately not Harvey. Even
if she was bald and had a kickass beard, she wouldn't have even came close to
Now, with those two things out of the way, they needed some star power to get
people to watch. Since the WWF at the time was very lewd and hardly anybody on
there would be deemed "Nick Friendly", they approached WCW and got 4 of their
best to be on their show. No, we're not talking Lex Luger or Diamond Dallas
Page. Instead, we got big stars like...
The Wall, or Sergeant A-Wol,
WCW Hardcore Champion Big Vito and of course,
Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Not surprising this is all they can get on such short
notice. I guess WCW Saturday Night and Worldwide were still taping at MGM and
they just sent these four C-listers to this taping. Enough about that, now
let's get to the show.
We kick off with the kids searching for pearls in a bowl of Clam Chowder. Where
you can see Hacksaw and Cajun trying to catch them in the air. Of course, since
Hacksaw has Double Dare Experience (he was on the show in 1989 facing off
against Mr. Perfect in a losing effort), he won and got the $25 for his team.
We see the teams now. Hacksaw and Big Vito with the WCW Hardcore Championship on
his podium dubbed the Red Rattlers. Then we get the blue team with Corporal
Cajun and Sgt. Awol known as the Blue Blazers. The show proceeds as normal until
everyone gets stumped on a Morse Code question, so time for the first physical
It's a paint by Numbers Physical Challenge, and Vito was chosen. So he and his
partner donned paintbrushes on their heads. Things were going fine until Vito
missed and bull-charged the sign ala his tag team partner Johnny The Bull,
giving the $100 to the Blue Blazers. So, we get a buzzer and head to break.
The Toss-up for Round 2 was these big running noses where they have to use these
towels to soak up the mucus and put the wring out the towels in this bucket.
Needless to say, the red team won. And they get stumped yet again and take the
The host has a dilemma: Who to dress up as a baby to sit in the highchair for
the Physical Challenge. Hacksaw or Big Vito. He puts it to the audience and
guess who won?
That's right, Big Vito dresses up as the big baby. I don't know what was more
embarrassing for him. This or having to be the "toughest guy to wear a dress".
Anyways, the goal is to knock off the 3 baby bottles on the high chair. Vito
just gets splattered.
So, if you know your Double Dare 2000 rules, the Triple Dare Challenge comes
into play where the Physical Challenge gets made tougher, but worth $300 and a
prize. OF course, Hacksaw goes for it, and draws a 4th Bottle out of the box.
Since Hacksaw is a father of his own kids, he knows by heart how to man a bottle
and knocks them all down in 10 seconds to seal the game for the red team. They
win with $575 and a $1,000 gift card to Toys R' Us.
So now we get to the Slopsticle course and the annoying bitch Tiffany runs down
what they could win. Vito is seen choking out Jason Harris. (If only he did that
in real life, then we might have been able to get a decent host like Dave Aizer
or maybe even JD Roth to host the show.) Hacksaw acts like a doofus, and then
the fun begins. They make it through 7 out of the 8 and win over $3,500 in
prizes on the course, and over $5,000 total for the kids.
Well, now that this is all over, it's time that Vito Extracts some revenge. And
what does he do?
HE slams the Todd Pettengill of game shows down into the Sundae Slide gak. What
a fitting end to this show. However, we should all be thankful that Tony
Schiavone wasn't there to declare this "The Greatest Night in the history of
game shows." Such Hyperbole should be saved for this guy.
He is truly the greatest host in the history of our sport.
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