Baywatch & acting: good,
Hosting Game Shows: Horrible
Host: Dog Eat Dog (June 2002 -
Hole In The Wall (September 2008 - March 2009)
Hair Battle Spectacular (August 2010 - Present)
Correspondant: You Deserve It (November 2011 - Present)
I think I said this before in a
previous induction. Hosting a game show has to be a really tough
job. You have to know almost all the little nuances of the game
being played, making the contestants feel at ease in front of all of the
bright lights, cameras & the studio audience, granted if there is one,
being a conduit and keeping the game moving and being sure that you know
what you're doing at all times. It honestly takes more than a
pretty face and a smoking hot body to host a game show. Sure,
there are some cases where you can have both and be a great host.
For example, Eric Nies did a fantastic job on Dance Fever USA and I
think that Alison Sweeney from The Biggest Loser is also quite cute.
However, sometimes production companies or networks will hire a host or
hostess based on looks alone, and they forget all of the other details
that make up a good host. More often than not, you'll wind up with
someone who looks great, but ends up being stinkier than David
Hasselhoff's Knight Rider jacket after a bad cheeseburger binge.
One of the more recent examples of this is former Baywatch beauty,
Yes, that's her in her trademark
Baywatch: Hawaii swimsuit alongside lesser Baywatch people Simmone Jade
Mackinnon and Stacy Kamano. She played the role of Jessie Owens
from 1998-2001 when the show was put out of its misery after being on
the air for 11 years in syndication and NBC, having Baywatch: Nights &
changing the title from Baywatch to Baywatch: Hawaii. Now, while
she may be a horrid host, she's a damned good actress. Having
starred in shows such as Out of the Blue, North Shore, Pepper Dennis and
more recently the revival of Melrose Place. Her movie credits
aren't bad either as she was in Shallow Hal, and a bunch of Direct to
DVD movies that can be found at the bargain bin at your local Walgreens.
Around the time of Baywatch's cancellation, NBC had a hit on their hands
with the stunt game show, Fear Factor. The network was looking to
pair up Fear Factor in the 2002 Summer Season with an import of the UK
show, Dog Eat Dog. So, they tapped Brooke Burns to host the show.
And here's where things start to
fall apart. For starters, she didn't seem like she was having a
good time up on the stage, being thrown into a new environment brand new
to her. Although she has had experience being on To Tell The Truth
as a panelist & being on a Celebrity episode of Fear Factor with David
Hasselhoff, Coolio, Donny Osmond, Joanie "Chyna" Laurer & Kelly Packard,
that doesn't equate to being a good host. More often than not, you
could actually see her reading the teleprompter or cue cards, whichever
one they were using at the time. Not only that, it also sounded
like she was bored reading the descriptions of the stunts the
contestants had to perform, such as a Pendulum Swing, where they had to
swing all the way around before the time expired, or having to answer a
bunch of questions while running on a treadmill above ground or other
Oh yeah, the question reading.
She has to be the slowest question reader for any show that I've seen.
Yes, that includes Art Donovan on 2 Minute Drill. I swear, it
takes her 20 seconds to read a 3 line question, that would take any
normal person about 10 to do. Not only that, it takes her about 5
seconds to register a contestants answer into her head and say if
they're right nor not. I don't know if she was prompted to do
that, but somehow I think it was her. Even at the end game, she
sounded like she was bored to death of reading the questions. Not
only that, some of her stuff sounded like it was dubbed in, especially
during certain stunts and explanations of events. To say that she
was nervous at times was an understatement.
I think that's something she
didn't like doing on that show, all that reading. Now I'm not
ragging on her for being a stereotypical dumb blonde, she just doesn't
seem like the one to want to read a bunch of questions or continuously
plug Circuit City's big screen of death or whatever product plug she had
to do with the clock. Another reason why she sounded burned out is
because quite a bit of her audio was done in post, which is an absolute
killer when you watch it at home, you could literally tell the
difference and not be an expert in audio.
Yet, whenever we get to a game
where it involves stripping, she's automatically entertained and ready
to go. But then again, she's been around semi-nudity through most
of her acting career with Baywatch and Shallow Hal. Even when the
females have to take off clothing, she gets excited. Oddly enough,
she gets really excited to the point of hearing-impairment screeching
when she sends someone off to the dog pound with her trademark, "SEE
YA!!!" That sound would make a dog run away in fear for its life.
Either that or it was her mating call to Bruce Willis at the time.
No, I'm not kidding, she actually was with Bruce Willis in 2003.
Anyways, it's pretty much status quo aside from that, bland boring and
The show was cancelled in 2003,
with a few episodes left unaired. Those episodes would be aired
when GSN picked up the reruns of the show and reran the show to death
from 2004-2006. Anyways, Brooke would go back to acting until 2008
when FOX had the brilliant idea to make a show based on a 8 minute
Japanese comedy show bit called Human Tetris. They called it Hole
In The Wall. Apparently, the show spread like wildfire all over
the world and had versions in England, Australia, among other places.
Our version though, had Mark Thompson doing announcing and the host was
Brooke Burns. So, did she learn from her first experience?
Nope. She's still bad.
Instead of being overly excited for one bit, she's overly excited for
the entire show. But thankfully for the people of FOX, her role
was limited to talking to the contestants whereas Mark Thompson did the
Play-by-Play and other major stuff. Unfortunately, I have to talk
more about Brooke instead of Mark, who did a good job with what he had
to work with. Brooke on the other had, couldn't find a normal tone
if her life depended on it. It kinda made me miss the old,
ill-at-ease, Brooke from Dog Eat Dog, because at least she wasn't so
annoying there as she was here.
Not only that, she sounded like
the wicked witch of the west when we got to the blind wall. She
was taunting the contestants about how they weren't going to be able to
see and that they were going to end up in the pool of cold water.
You know, that's enough talking about this show. I'll get back to
this in the future, along with Dog Eat Dog.
The show got dismal ratings, and
during the football season, got bumped sometimes because of games that
went into overtime in the east coast. So, in March of 2009, the
show died a painless death with a few episodes left unaired. I
think FOX Reality aired them, but I can't be sure about that.
Brooke continued to do some DVD Movies and TV shows until a few months
ago when she got the hosting gig for Oxygen's Hair Battle Spectacular.
Here is a weird twist for
Brooke. In the non-audience part of the show, where she is just
talking to the contestants about what they have to do, she's passable.
She's just a talking head sort of deal, where she tells the contestants
what they have to do with hair and how long they need to do it.
Also, introducing some guest judges, like for example, B. Scott.
I'm guessing B. is a hair stylist for Tyra and other shows of that ilk
that do ambush makeovers and other fun stuff to make some down women
happy again. Ahhh, the powers of semi-expensive clothing and the
salon. So, not much to complain about here, but the show is a
mediocre mish-mash of Project Runway and Shear Genius, so there ya go.
On second thought, when she gets
in front of the live audience at the end of the show where the
contestants reveal their hairstyles, she's back to the annoying, lousy
hosting Brooke Burns. However, this time she has some goofy
looking hairstyle that would make B. Scott himself take Sheep Shears and
buzz that monstrosity off of her head, leaving her balder than Sinead
O'Connor. I can't believe what I just typed out, so I'm just going
to give my final take on that hairdo.
Thank you High.
In closing, while Brooke Burns
is a fine actress, her hosting has much to be desired. Sure she's
hot, but her hosting will leave you colder than the pools on Dog Eat Dog
and Hole In The Wall. When she talks in a normal voice without the
bright lights, she's decent. But with the big studio and loud
audiences, she's horrid. That's pretty much all I got left for
this one. I'm sure I'll be getting some info from B. Scott fans in
my inbox, but that's because I don't really follow much talk shows or
info-tainment shows out there like Extra or Access: Hollywood.
That ends 2010. Hopefully
you all have a great holiday season and we'll try to make 2011 a bit
better for you all.