Attack of the Zeroaires part 2
Revenge of the Stupid
Has it been 11 1/2 years since
Millionaire invaded our TV sets? Wow. I'd like to think
we've seen over 3,000 or so people try their luck in the hot seat or
standing center stage, behind the Hot Desk answering multiple choice
questions for tons of cash. More often than not, people won large
amounts on the show. However, we're here to honor those that blew
it on easy questions and won nothing. That's right, it's the 2nd
installment of Attack of the Zeroaires. Now, let's kick things off
with a guy who I absolutely forgot about when doing this originally.
His name is Paul Weir Galm.
He's from Portland Oregon and he and his wife are former attorneys who
left their jobs to just do a bunch of traveling. A noble idea at
the time. I mean, while being a lawyer might bring in humongous
paychecks, it's also quite draining. So, he's on the show to maybe
do some more traveling. His first question reads as follows.
Which of these phrases is a
common way of saying, "I can't take it anymore!"
A: That's the last stick, B:
That's the last leaf, C: That's the last straw, D: I'm moving to Canada
Well, there's much to be said
about the state of affairs in the United States where you see many
people wanting to move to Canada. But this isn't about political
affairs or financial affairs. It's about this traveller who
decides to speak before he thinks and utters....
Yeah, I don't know if that's the
case in Zanzibar or Madagascar. But he's the traveler, so he'd
know. But here in the good ol' USA...
that's what we call an epic
fail. That's the last straw, not the last stick, but it was the
last stick for him as that's what he leaves with...well, he had to pick
it up outside. Anyways, now with that taken care of, it's time to
move on with our parade of patheticness with a royal tinge to it.
Her name is Phillis Straka from
Kettering, Ohio. She seems like a nice, bright lady. Very
booksmart and well read, so I think she could do well here. She
does prove that right as she nails the first three without any problems.
Then she runs into this one.
Which of these performers
adopted the title "Sir" Without ever having being knighted in England?
A: Sir Elton John, B: Sir
Mix-a-Lot, C: Sir Mick Jagger, D: Sir Paul McCartney
Well, seeing how 3 of these guys
are from England and the other one is from the royal city of Seattle, it
seemed like a slam dunk that she would have said B.
I guess, I was wrong. I'm
guessing she thought that Mick Jagger was never knighted, so there ya
But Unfortunately, she was
proven wrong as she is exiled from the chamber of knowledge that is the
Millionaire Soundstage without even a tinge of gold bars, or even a CD
of all of these guys collaborating on a song called "Candle in the Wind
Got Back in the streets once upon a long ago."
Hey! I pay you to do that
to other peoples bad jokes, not mine.
take a trip to the 10th Anniversary Special and meet our next inductee.
Her name is Ellen Gaines.
She is a gym teacher and she seems like a smart lady, and she appeared
to be on Night 6. She made it to the hot seat and breezed through
her first four questions. She gets to the $1,000 question and sees
this under the category of "Crossword Clues".
In a New York Times Election Day
puzzle, which one these answers had the clue "Blue State" and not "Red
A: Melancholy, B: Communism, C:
Outrage, D: Insolvency
I mean, its easy to figure out
as communism was the red menace, Angry = red and Insolvency is red
something. Maybe it had to do something with Red Sonja, I don't
know. Anyways, having to deal with being Melancholy every day and
taking medications for it, I know it's A.
Well, I guess this is what they
mean by those that can't do teach and those that can't teach teach gym.
So, when she said that....
Regis quickly dismissed her from
his classroom and she gets sent to the bench where the smelly towels
Now seeing how this is a game
show website, I think having someone blow a really easy game show
question would be worth having on here. So let me introduce you to
the 4th and final inductee in this years Attack of the Zeroaires.
Her name is Kathy Hempel.
She is from Arlington Heights, Illinois and I don't have much
information aside from that. Now being on a game show, she should
know some basic game show questions, like this one.
On the game show, Wheel of
Fortune, how much does a vowel cost?
A: $50, B: $100, C: $250, D:
Well, it's been the same amount
since 1975. So if you've seen at least one episode of Wheel of
Fortune, which she has said she has when she returned on a losers show,
she should have gotten this one right.
On second thought, she went with
her gut instead of her head. Now to be fair, on Bob Goen's
version, vowels were $100, but that was when they had $50 and $75 spaces
on the wheel. But, I doubt the writers were thinking of that.
And I was right. She
leaves with a Bankrupt.....But there is a happier ending than the last
one. She was invited back during a special $0 winners week and how
did she do?
I'd say she had a happy ending.
And thus, she can now afford to buy 1,000 vowels, or if going by her
logic earlier, 2,500 vowels. We'll have more Dumb Zeroaires in the
future, and that's our final answer on that subject.