#72: The Chase Of Keith From The Isle Of Wight
Gives A New Meaning To The Term "Corkhead"

ITV: (February 8, 2011)

I love The Chase.  It's gotta be one of my favorite quiz shows from the past 10 years.  It's got everything you want in a current-era game show.  Great set, cool music package, involving format, a terrific host in Bradley Walsh and not to mention tons of cash.  You could see a good team rack up anywhere between 20,000 and 40,000 pounds.  But what makes the show is the Chasers themselves in Mark LaBette, Shaun Wallace, and Anne Hegerty.  What also makes the show is the contestants themselves.  They also have a great variety of contestants as well.  While some of them are good at trivia and can hold their own against the Chasers, and others that are genuinely there to have a good time, there are others that just make it on the show to get their so called 15 minutes of shame.

Our induction this week is someone who falls into the second category, but unfortunately makes it into a fourth category where they just shouldn't belong in any quiz show ever again.  It's time to meet from the Isle of Wight, Keith Newberry.

Keith is a semi-retired journalist from the Isle of Wight.  Now, I heard several jokes about the Isle of Wight that there's literally nothing there.  But since I've never been, I'll just leave it at that.  Anyways, he says that if he wins any money he'll take his son on a Dude Ranch holiday and act like John Wayne for a fortnight with chaps and hat with probably a lasso and whatnot. 

I'll explain the first part of the game.  The contestant has 60 seconds to answer as many questions as they can.  Each correct answer is worth 1,000 pounds.  It's simple, yet effective.  So, let's see how he gets on.

His first question was "The Social Network is a film about the founding of what website."  He doesn't know and passes.  The answer to that was Facebook.  Then he gets asked a question about what branch of the armed forces do the Royal Marines serve in.  He guessed the Army, it's the Royal Navy.  So, two easy questions are blown and we're not 10 seconds into this round.  He misses an Australian Open question and an Earnest Shackleford question before he gets to a geography question.

"Centerfield Nuclear Power Station is located in what county?"  He quickly says North Umberland before realizing his mistake and starts to say Cambria, when Bradley starts to say it as the correct answer.  So, out of the 5 questions he's missed, he should at least have 2,000 pounds right now.  Immediately afterwards, he misses a question about The Railway Children, wastes about 8 seconds on a Dick Van Dyke question and a question about the song, Hello John got no motor?.  So, we're already 8 questions in, about 12 seconds left and no pounds in the prize fund.

The next question was "What UK Agency is officially called the Secret Intelligence Service?"  He calls it the SIS, but it was actually the big one, MI:6.  Then he's asked about what Century did Elizabeth the 1st start her reign before time runs out.  He said the 15th, it was the 16th.  So, he becomes the first person in the short history of The Chase to have 0 to bring to the table.  And has to face a Chaser in order to salvage some form of credibility.

And there she is.  The Governess, Anne Hegerty.  She also goes by the name of Frosty Knickers, but I much prefer The Governess.  When she gets out, she just lays into him by telling him that he just gave a new meaning to the term Corkhead and saying that he let all the former journalists down.  And she truly has room to talk, since outside of The Chase, she is a freelance proofreader and editor.  Bradley joked that she used to write for Farmer's Weekly.  But anyways, now to the next part of the game. 

The money, or in this case lack thereof, would be put three steps ahead of the Chaser.  The Chaser will offer a low-ball amount to go one step closer to home base but will give a huge offer, many times triple or more than what they earned in the first part of the game.  Now since Keith earned 0, The Chaser had to offer, in a rare occurrence in itself, a Minus offer in -1,000 pounds.  She prefaced that the 1,000 would be taken out of the prize fund of the next person, provided they make it to home base.  The big offer she gave to put him closer to the chaser, as she put it "Since you were asked 10 questions and got them all wrong...10,000 Pounds."  So, without hesitation, he takes the 10,000 offer, so he could at least gain some credibility. 

Now the rules, the Contestant and the Chaser will be asked the same multiple choice question and lock in their answers.  The first person to answer puts the other one

His first question is this: "Which science fiction hero first appeared in Philip Nowlan's novel: Armageddon 2419?"
A: Buck Rogers B: Dave Lister C: Flash Gordon

Now, if it took place in the 25th century so to speak and Buck Rogers took place in the 25th century, I'd go with Buck Rogers.  He put?

Flash Gordon.  He said that he didn't know.  And he was right, he didn't know.

But the Chaser knew and now he's on his last gasp.  He has to get it right and here it is.

"Which of the following is featured on the national flag of Mozambique?"
A: Gun B: Moon C:Tree

Now I don't know this one.  I know absolutely nothing about the flags of African Nations.

And apparently, Neither did Keith, who said that this was a guess as well.  And Boom goes the dynamite when Bradley asks that if he even bothered doing research or reading books and whatnot.  Keith immediately says that's why he's part time now on the Isle of Wight.  Bradley then makes the joke about a headline normally found on the Isle of Wight in "Cat Stuck Up Tree" and then Keith comes up with "Shell Found On Beach."

While he explains that headline, Bradley is just cracking up like mad.  And to be honest, I bet the people watching this at home and the others in the studio were just cracking up as well.  He says that he found an unexploded bomb that was found on the beach and he wrote the headline.  Anne jumps in and says that he saw that headline in Private Eye.  I bet Ian Hislop had a field day with that one.  Probably saying that "he'd probably be telling us they'd find sand down there next" according to Keith.  After they all got settled down, Bradley asks for the correct answer to be revealed and before it is revealed, Keith says it was Gun.

And lo and behold, it was Gun.  Bradley questions him about it, but he said he was a peaceful guy and didn't think of it at first. 

But Anne did, and his run of futility on The Chase ends here.  At the end she even thought about blowing that question just to keep him around longer. 

Bradley shakes his hand, and he goes off smiling, knowing that he's made history on the show and his a legend on the Isle of Wight with his moment in the sun by not getting one question right in the show.  Anne was just laughing and saying that was brilliant. 

And to be honest, it was.  This falls in the same category as my Family Feud/Fortunes inductions where, it's not a so bad, it's cringeworthy, it's a so bad it's hilarious moment.  It should be said that Keith took his shellacking in high spirits, even writing about it in his weekly column.  He explained about how he got on the show, and his time on the show and getting to meet Bradley Walsh and Anne Hegerty and how both were just wonderful to hang around with, getting to talk about Bradley about football (Soccer for the US readers) and giving a big hug to Anne after the taping was done.  I wish Keith all the good cheer in the world.  Anybody who can take a beating like that and still be smiling, deserves a great cheer, or maybe a second go on the show.  I'd love to see him back. 

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