Name it and Claim It
Text by: Matthew Wojis
GSN: (June 6, 2009)
(Note From Robert Seidelman: The look of the induction will be done differently. It's better this way since it fully conveys the essence of what Matthew wanted in his induction. I hope you enjoy it.)
Like every other fanatic in this country, I was really looking forward to the Game Show Awards the GSN was putting together in June 2009. GSN was going to immortalize and honor the world of game shows in the tradition of TV LAND and their awards show. Or so we thought... June 6th 2009 came along and with what we saw, I am surprised that there were was no rise in broken television sets that weekend.
The awards show was a night of awards being handed out in various categories, tributes to legends in the business and games to be played by the audience.
The host of this chaotic mess was Howie Mandel. To his credit he managed to maintain order on the stage with all insane events happening around him.
The show itself was full of undeserving winners of the awards, bad editing and nonsensical audience games. However, the one segment that sent myself and other fans across the country to having a shouting match with our television sets was the game infamously titled "Name It and Claim It."
The two audience members chosen to play (I mean Destroy) were Matt Hart (student and musician) and Tamar McKell (massage therapist).
The game was simple. Howie would ask the contestants (dunces, excuse me) a game show trivia question. The first letter of the answer would be placed on the puzzle board. The player than gets to guess the puzzle and win the prize that is spells out.
Question 1: Who was the original host of Let's Make A Deal?
(Tamar buzzes) "Monty Hall?"
"Thank you for remembering me at least."
Tamar had no guess. Okay not so bad.
Question 2: What Bob
was the original host of The Newlywed Game?
"Do you have any idea?"
HOWIE: You came to the Game Show Awards and you know nothing about them?! Do you even know what letter Eubanks starts with?
MATT: (buzzes in even though it's not the damn question) U?
HOWIE: NO!!! You know nothing!
Howie says it all, maybe I don't have to think of anything more to type and I could just have Howie write the induction for me. He is right in questioning where Matt thinks he is, did he misread the craigslist posting and thought it said "video game awards". In fact, Tamar probably misread it too.
Anywho, the E (not the U) goes up but nobody can guess. The chaos is building up even Howie screwed up the rules for a moment.
Question 3: What
reality competition TV show is hosted by Jeff Probst?
"Matt and Tamar, you're ineptitude has spoken. No redemption island for you, you don't deserve it so get off this stage."
"Do either of you have a television?"
Do either of those guys know what a game show is in the first freaking place?! There is no reason not to know CBS' #1 reality series especially when you have grown up during this time.
HOWIE: Do you know what letter Survivor starts with?
With the way you have played that delayed response does not shock me. In fact I am amazed he even knew the letter even existed! (Exhale) Well lets at least put the S on the board...
I said put it on the board...
HOWIE: You don't think Vanna does much. It's so tough without her.
Does the S go up there? do we wait for it? I may be smiling but i'm ******* on the inside!
"You will always need me Howie. Nothing, not even a LCD letter board can replace me!"
Finally we can go on to the next question and no more messing around you two! And you better get this next one!
Question 4: Who is the announcer of tonights show?
(more pregnant pauses) Howie said the name! You couldn't have missed it unless either you were taking a piss or dump at the time. (buzz)
"I think I'm gonna win!"
No Howie, were all gonna lose with these dunces here.
"Dear George. These are names for the "Do not come on down" list. If they can't remember my name, they have no business being there. Signed Rich"
Okay put that R up there NOW!
That puzzle looks like a term that I want to type out uncensored that all of us are thinking of and saying under our breath. However, there may be children reading this so let us move on if we can help it.
Question 5: In the primetime version of Deal Or No Deal, how many cases are there at the start of the game?
(Tamar finally buzzes) 22?
Wow. PRIMETIME TAMAR, PRIMETIME. It might be cancelled, but it wasn't that long ago.
Let's put the T up there for 26.
Question 6: What game
show involved playing remembering where matching prizes were located on
(Tamar buzzes) Concentration?
"Hallelujah indeed. I was just about to walk out if you forgot my show"
It's interesting that
Tamar does know games from before her time but not the modern stuff. Did
she just get transported from the past or just havn't watched any game
shows since childhood?
TAMAR: Motor Scooter!!
Thank you Tamar! That's right. Now get on that Motor Scooter and get the hell out of here. You and the other dunce have already stunk the stage up enough, along with everyone else behind the scenes!!!
This was the biggest fail of the evening of fails. The contestants knew little to nothing about game shows on a game show award show, in my opinion the worst contestants ever on any GSN show. The technicians did not how to work with up to date technology on their board and this along every other shenanigan that occurred at the Wilshire Theatre that night made for one of the biggest disappointments of recent years for game show fanatics, or least myself. It set the current love/hate relationship us fans have with GSN in motion.
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