GSN: (June-July 2009)
I don't know what happened to GSN in 2009. I thought they were doing well with their daily cut-ins with GSN Live, GSN Radio was doing really well and despite a terrible host, Catch 21 was doing well too. But then you start in May with one big disaster in The 2009 Game Show Awards. It was a disaster in more ways than one. The winners were garbage and the games that they played featured some of the dumbest contestants this network had to offer. But then just when you thought you thought The Game Show Awards was going to be the worst thing to show up on GSN that year, you then see a commercial with this annoying prat yelling at a couple watching TV, hyping up something called Big Saturday Night. When the commercial aired, it promised us two shows in The Money List and 20Q, both good shows. But what Big Saturday Night really was is a bunch of cut-ins stretching 2 60 minute shows into 2 90 minute shows. The Cut-ins would turn out to be some of the worst produced television in the medium's history. Not only that, it was these cut-ins and inanity that actually gave me another push to create this site. So now we get to relive the pain that GSN thrusted upon us.
There were three hosts for this show, so let's break them down. The main host was Keegan Michael Key. I don't know why, but his look reminds me of Howie Mandel. However, he lacked the charm, personality or the OCD, which gave us the new way of greeting contestants by fist-bumping them. It should be noted that he was a cast member from Mad TV, so you know just how well those careers have taken off after that show. I don't know what to say about Keegan except for the fact that he is one of the more annoying bastages to host a TV show since Dolly had her variety show back in 1987. He's an ok question reader, but to be blunt, he just grates on me.
Now, what would any live cut-in show in primetime be on GSN without some eye-candy and they picked some nice eye candy with Charissa Thompson. She was alright in her role, but nothing too spectacular. Which is kind of sad to say that she was the best one out of the three. When I first saw her, it felt like she was Generic Blonde Hostess #72531. And in the end, it seemed like it was an apt conclusion.
Finally, we see the third host in Ross Mathews aka Ross the Intern from
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I don't know what to say about this one,
but here it goes. This is the worst host that GSN has ever put on the
air. Yes, worse than Wendy Williams, Dylan Lane, and Burt Luddin
combined. Not only that, he's one of the biggest walking gay stereotypes
out there today. He's got the voice, the sashay, and the mannerisms that
make me somewhat embarrassed for my gay friends out there. Yes, I know
I'm being nice to him here, so I'll just let my Buzzerblog post from
2009 tell you the rest about how I feel about Ross Mathews on this show.
Big Saturday Night mainly featured two things: sketches and games. I'm going to start off with games, because those are easier to do. They had a good variety of games. Some ranged from the simple and effective ones, like when Ross went to Seaworld and then asked some audience members about the footage. Getting it right won $1,000. Nothing bad about that, except for Ross's reading of the questions. I swear, he's getting his very own induction in the future. Here and his stuff on 1 Vs. 100 made me want to go to an actual mob and tell them that Italians are pathetic.
To some overly done ones, like this letter game called "What's in a Word?", where contestants have to make new words out of 3 other words, in this case Tuscan, Style and Chicken and the most letters used in properly spelled words wins $5,000. It's not a bad game, but boy did it bring some stupidity. BTW, Nice spelling of the word suck, David. But I do agree, this show really does scuk.
To this horrendous version of the Snapback event from American Gladiators called Bill Busters. Well, they did a ton of variants of Bill Busters, sometimes with Bingo, but the theory is the same. The contestants here had to go to a wall, and bring back a bill to their bucket. The catch is that both are tied to a singular bungee cord, so they had to drag their opponents sometimes. Yeah, it wasn't very pleasant to watch. It also didn't help that Keegan and Ross were very horrible at being hosts and didn't care sometimes, or in the case of Ross; faking it more than flopping soccer players.
If you thought the games were painful, then what drove this show to the grave faster than anything was the unfunny sketches that they did. There were three segments that caused this show to nosedive more than anything. The biggest one was "Before They Were Hosts." These featured game show hosts before they were on shows, and these were a gigantic flop and were hated by pretty much anybody and everybody just for two major reasons. One, they weren't funny at all. And two, the acting was worse than in a Disney Sitcom.
Sometimes they would interview a game show figure, calling it Behind the Game Show. They would rip-off Behind The Music and do it on a specific character, such as the whammy. Just like Before they were hosts, this was another slap in the face when it came to game show fans. Think about it, you're trashing game shows on a game show on a game show channel being watched by game show fans. Surely, you'd want to keep them happy and not lose the 300,000-400,000 viewers who wanted to see this program. But then again, I forgot. They got the same writers that were on MadTV, and they don't know funny from their ass or a hole in the ground.
Speaking of ripping off SNL, I guess they hired Keegan because he could do
a Barack Obama impersonation. These were really terrible because not
only was Keegan unfunny about it, it hardly sounded like Obama. I mean,
at least when Will Ferrell did George W Bush, he sounded like Bush. But
then again, Keegan is from MadTV, and they weren't really known for
great parodies of anything, just stupid pathetic sketches involving
partially retarded people and other sketches that made you want to punch
a hole through your TV. It made me yearn for George W. Bush to be back
in the White House so we could get a good impersonation of a commander