#108 - Attack of the Zeroaires Part 3
The return of the llamas and blackbirds

 

Compilation Induction

It's become some sort of tradition here at Game Show Garbage.  In March, tons of traditions happen.  The NCAA Tourney happens and tons of people fill out their brackets in vein of trying to win $1,000,000 from various places by getting the perfect bracket, drunken college students invade warm locales and party for Spring Break and causing $1,000,000 in property damage to various clubs and hotels, and over here at Game Show Garbage, we look at people who go on a certain game show who tried to win $1,000,000 but instead end up embarrassing themselves by winning nothing.  That's right, it's time yet again for our third installment of Attack of the Zeroaires.  Let's find out about more losers who won nothing.

 

Before I do that, I have a hilarious craptacular moment to share with you.  Fans of Saturday Night Live might recognize this man as former host of Weekend Update and regular in Kevin Nealon.  He appeared on Millionaire during the never-ending celebrity specials that plagued the show after 9/11.  During this week, Kevin has had his share of difficulties with the Fastest Finger questions that popped up during the 5 weeks they had done the Comedy Specials.  So, at the end of the specials, it was all up to him.  He was the only person left.  Rules state that he MUST get a fastest finger correct in the fastest time in order to get into the Hot Seat.  So, he now faces his fastest finger question.

 

Kevin, put the following movies that you are in, in order of their first theatrical release, starting with the earliest.

A: The Wedding Singer, B: Roxanne, C: Coneheads, D: Little Nicky

Now any self-respecting actor would remember his or her flimography, especially when the movies are two to ten years apart from each other.  Now granted, Kevin does more stand-up than movies, but you'd have to figure that he'd know what movies he's been in. 

We see the answers and we hear Kevin complaining about the buttons.  Methinks he dun goofed.  Let's check something to see if he did.

Yes, he did.  I can understand an entire ring of fire missing a question, especially when one is so close together, but if you are an actor and you miss something like that, then you really have screwed up in some spectacular fashion.  I forget how much Kevin did win when he got to the hot seat, but it did go to a good cause.  With that said, let's get to our next lost cause.

We stick around at Regis Millionaire and our next contestant, Allen Kong.  He is a 2nd year med student at University of California Irvine.  He had a tough act to follow when he got into the hot seat because before he got in there, David Rice had won $250,000 in there.  So, not only was their pressure for him to do well to follow him, he's also got those gigantic med school bills to pay for.  The goings for him went really really rough, having to struggle to get his $100 question right and burning his Ask the Audience lifeline on the $200 question.  So now he sees the $300 question.

Which of the following is a famous french cooking school?

A: Moulin Rouge, B: Eiffel Tower, C: Cordon Bleu, D: Chicken A la King

If you can use deductive reasoning, you'd be able to figure this out.  Moulin Rouge was a dance club, the Eiffel Tower is a famous landmark and Chicken A La King is just delicious.  So, it has to be Cordon Bleu. 

Allen unfortunately couldn't figure it all out and just decides to go with A.  I'm guessing he hasn't heard of the club, but then again this was before the Nicole Kidman movie did come out.  So, I'm guessing he hasn't heard of it and went with his gut.

Unfortunately though, his gut failed him and it was Cordon Bleu.  Now, even though Regis said that he went back down to $200, but he did become the 6th person in the shows history to leave with absolutely nothing.  He would return for the $0 Winners special next year, but unfortunately for him, he didn't even get out of the ring of fire.  I don't know about his medical career after this show, but I bet he did get a DVD copy of Moulin Rouge directly when it came out.

So with that, we're going to the clock version of Millionaire and to a really rare moment in the shows history. 

We start with Kevin.  I don't know his last name, but that's because I couldn't find it.  I bet there's some website dedicated to Millionaire that has all of the data on all the shows, but who knows.  Anyways, before the game starts, Meredith tells him to keep his pants on.  I'm assumign during the interview, he told a story about losing said pants.  In a word, meh.  He gets the $500 question quickly, but then he gets to his $1,000 question.

"And many more" is a line commonly sung at the end of what traditional ditty?

A: Old MacDonald, B: Jolly Good Fellow, C: Happy Birthday, D: Home on the Range. 

I'm not going to bother with the breakdown.  Anybody who's had a birthday should know this answer.

Kevin didn't.  Thinking that Jolly Good Fellow ended with that. 

But nobody can deny that it was Happy Birthday.  Now he can't deny that he is one of the many to leave with no money whatsoever.  I guess after the show taped he burned the pair of pants.  So after he left we're meeting our last person for this set of Zeroaires.

His name is Chris Mazza.  Nothing much is said about that since the rest of teh convo is about following someone who won nothing.  I would have liked to know a little bit about the guy.  C'mon Meredith.  Give us a reason to care about him.  I blame this one on her.  With that said, here's his first question.

"Slightly inebriated" is a common definition for which of these words?

A: Milky, B: Watery, C: Beery, D: Jello-shotty.

Ok, it's simply another version of which one of these words is A: A real word and B: contains alcohol.    Now, here's a major reason why I despise the clock format.  It doesn't allow for someone to figure out the questions, but forces them to make rash decisions. 

Like this one.  He would have asked the audience or something to help him out.  But since the clock cuts down on pretty much everything, he's forced to select something.  But if he had to select something, he should know that Beer is an alcoholic drink.

But instead either his nerves or the clock got the better of him and now we have back to back $0 winners for the first time in this show's history.  Well done you two.  Well, that wraps up this edition of the Zeroaires.  Let's just hope I don't have to do a fourth one next year.  I'm running out....

  Chairman Chico:  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait just one minute there, Rob.

    Oh, hey there Chairman Chico.  (note: This is Chico Alexander from Game Show News Net.)  How goes everything?

    Chairman Chico:  Going great. Carolina's dancing. Duke isn't. Life is good. ANYWAY... There's one more thing you have yet to gloss on.

And what would that be?

    And the guys and I, We've been going on about it for the last two years.  Maybe three.



  
  Patricia Heaton... on Millionaire 10th Anniversary.  Doesn't know what 1.5 times 5 is.

    GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

    Rob, what's 1.5 times 5?  What's five $1.50s?

    $7.50

    Very good.  Now can you break that down into change?  That's... 30 quarters... or 75 dimes...
 Or 750 Pennies or 150 Nickels

    Well... JUST WATCH.

    

    If a euro is worth $1.50, five euros is worth what? a) thirty quarters b) fifty dimes c) Seventy nickels d) ninety pennies

    
How can I put this... She DUMB.

    And she gets inducted next week.