MMTV: Mediocre Music TV
Edition #16: American Idol Week 3 - Third Auditions, A Live Typing

Written by: Wences Acosta

Authors Note: Idol 2 will not be up until next week for I missed that episode, please forgive me

Well here we go folks, third night, and so far we have had one forgettable night and one awesome night. For tonight, we are in Charlotte, North Carolina, home of "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, and we start off with....A Nascar Dream and a montage of a few months ago when Nicki and Mariah actually fought. Oh boy, this is going to be a fun night....

Let me say this straight out: I absolutely HATE it when every city starts off with "I believe the next American Idol is here in *insert city*!". I know that's what they do, but still. Holy hell, our first audition is FIERCE!!! Her name is Naomi Morris and the interaction between her and Nicki is fabulous. Now, her rendition of "Respect" from Aretha was....interesting to say the least, and then she attempted "Too Proud to Beg" and on the plus side she didn't attempt the high note hahaha. She is beautiful, so for that I will give her props, but yeah, that was a BAD way to start this show. Then we have a quick Nicki/Mariah "encounter", another stupid segment with Ryan driving a car from Nascar, and we go to commercial. At this point, I realize I am in for a LONG night.

We are back, and we go into a holy hell faceplant. This guy, whoever he is, just did one of the best faceplants I saw, and now he is talking about some science involving singing while lying down, which is news to me. Next, this man calls Nicki Minaj cotton candy, when she says her hair is edible. It is official, I want what she is on. Ok, what the fuck is this guy on thinking that he could be a better singer while lying on his back, especially trying "Feeling Good" from Nina Simone, and the man known as Jumanji does not make it, but he is at least polite about his exit. Next we finally get to someone who isn't a joke who tells us a story about how his wife survived cancer, and how he just wants to make a difference in their lives, which without going into stereotyping is Tate Stevens again. His name is Bryan Rittenberry, and his wife has a huge crush on Keith Urban, but he just did an excellent version of "Let It Be", and while the first version was excellent for sounding emotional, this one was amazing for sounding uplifting. He makes it through, and his wife comes in for an emotional hug for her husband and hugs Senor Urban right now (Senor Urban? New Mexican Superhero? Hmm...).

We are back, yet again, and we get a montage of people eating for some reason, maybe the next American Idol will get a food sponsership. Anyways, next is Jimmy Smith, who is inspired by Keith Urban, and while he is singing a Rascal Flatts song, "God Bless The Broken Road", I got chills, I legit got goosebumps, and I love it. All 4 say yes, and I believe we are looking at a threat for the title, because that performance was a Chris Rene level performance in my view. As he leaves, we get a montage of people who made it through, which is nice and did a falsetto that would make Early to Mid 90's Mariah Carey proud. Then we get more commercials, really? Oh well, can't complain much.

After a few minutes we are back, and I am feeling really uneven. We get Scotty Mcreery, a man most have forgotten, going through fans. The next man is Matthew Muse, and in his promo video I can honestly say this is the most creeped out I have ever been from a contestant in a while that I can remember. Of course he blows it, but it's the way he blows it that makes me uneasy, with the slow singing.. However, it is afterwards with the dancing (that looks like choreography from the Hip Hop scene from Hannah Montana The Movie) and the model walking is cute, so points for that. Isabel Gonzalez is next and she is another nominee from a family member, let us just hope she does better then the guitar girl from Ep 1. She did a Sam Cooke song and did it so easily, and honestly she reminds me of a slightly older version of Carly Rose Sonenclar. She makes it and in 4 cans of silly string makes an uplifting celebration unfold before our eyes.....and YET MORE COMMERCIALS. However, we get another tease for Nicki vs. Mariah and I guess that's a plus.

We come back and go straight to a contestant named Paige Bethea who is in a rock band (yay!) and she does Alternative Rock, which gives me hope and she chooses "Folsom Prison Blues" from Johnny Cash and then does "You Oughta Know" from Alanis Morrisette, which just blew my mind all the way. She just barely made it in a weird decision of 3-2, with Keith getting a double vote. We then get a montage of the judges not agreeing on singers, but the judges judge lol. Here it comes.....Nicki vs. Mariah. Summer Cunningham singing "Lean on Me" is the catalyst, and I think she does a good job for the song material. In a weird twist of fate, she gets the third degree after she called Country a "Thing", It got worst when Randy and Mariah tried helping her by saying her voice was more suitable for country in which Nicki basically said it didn't matter what kind of music she did if she had a good voice, before she walked out because she thinks she isn't helping anyone. Honestly, just my opinion, but Mariah was in the wrong. Nicki has been more helpful in not only helping the contestants but actually interacting with them even the acts that were bad, she knows how to talk to people, while Mariah just seems to be there to cash a check. Yes Nicki was a bit childish in walking out, but hearing Mariah say what she said AFTER she walked out makes me want to curse her out so badly.

We are back for Day 2, everything is stressful but seems to be calmed down in a way. Brandy Hamilton is the first person who got in trouble for singing in the army, which I find hilarious in a way, singing an Etta James song and did decently enough to make it to Hollywood, but it is what she said after that touches me: "Don't fight, it makes us sad". That shut both Mariah and Nicki up, realizin that they aren't doing this for them they are doing it for the people and the public. Yet again, we get a commercial break, and with about 40 minutes left, I sense about 2 maybe 3 more paragraphs with all these commercials.

We get back, and what the fuck am I smoking where this girl looks like a Nicki Minaj drag queen attempt?. Her name is Ashley Smith, and holy hell this is the time that we as an audience should not judge a book by a cover. She did a Carrie Underwood song fabulously and all 4 voted yes, and it was brilliant. Next is another excellent performance in a Miss Janelle Arthur, who did a version of a Keith Urban song and killed it in so many ways, and obviously she makes it to the next round and with a southern attitude that I love as we head to yet another commercial break. Thankfully it is almost over for the night and I can move on to the finale of American Horror Story: Asylum (Playing on FX in a half an hour).

We come back to.....a montage of people who do not make it but still are entertaining in their own right. The first actual audition is from the "Voice of Charlotte" Mr. Rodney Barber, who does "I'll Be" and I will admit it was really good and I can see good things in his future as he makes it to Hollywood. Candice Glover is next and she is the redemption story of this year, as she does a song that gets a standing ovation from the 3 remaining judges (I guess Keith left for one reason or another), and she just goes through Hollywood flawlessly as we head to another commercial.

We return and we go straight to Jabria Farmer, a woman who is a hunter of frogs. Singing a Bonnie Raitt song in "Pride and Joy" and she is destroying it in a way that I can faithfully say this might be the closest season that we have seen in a while so it is no shock that she goes through while they all debate about eating frogs. We then get to Brad Harris, who is aparintly a special guy who used to mash his head into chairs and locker rooms. He sang "Whole New World" from Aladdin, and doesn't make it but in a way I will admit one thing as we go to what I believe is the last commercial break: He does a better job of saying "This is American Idol" then Ryan Seacrest.

For the last performance of the night we first get a montage of people who didn't make it before we get to Seretha Guinn. Her boyfriend was in a serious accident that basically almost killed him, and now she is here without him knowing she is here, and in the first humane moment of the show, we have a little 3 year olf (Seidelman note: Wences did his drinking game and blacked out from all the sob stories and other nonsense.  We put him in detox, pumping some really strong coffee into him and will be back next week)

If you have any opinions or comments, please let me know at