Tooncrap #8 - Cinderella II: Dreams Come True
Written by: Raymond Gallant
Cinderella is the film that for all intents and
purposes saved the Walt Disney company. If it had failed, then we would
have never seen Disneyland, or anything that had come after. for that,
we owe this movie a lot of gratitude. It doesn't hurt that it is one of
the most enduring classics in the Disney library. I do quite enjoy this
film. Cinderella is likable, The animal characters aren't as annoying as
others, and Lady Tremaine may be the most detestable character in the
Disney villain library.
And a stare that will haunt you til your dying day. Thanks for that,
And the movie has a satisfying ending. After all the crap Cinderella was
put through, she finally gets her Prince Charming and lives happily ever
after. I get that some people think that's a bad moral, claiming that
the film tells you that all you need to attain what you want is wishing
and hoping. But I think people look way too much into that. All that
matters again is that she gets her happily ever after, and the story
ends on a high note.
Or does it?
Well, after 52 years of an ending that worked, Disney decided to
resurrect the film that saved their skin, and in 2002 we saw Cinderella:
Dreams Come True. And, if we've learned anything from previous Disney
cheapquels, and that is to expect disappointment. Not just
disappointment, but also a lame attempt at throwing what may have been
episodes from a scrapped TV series? There's only one to find out. Let's
review this thing.
We start our film with our beloved rodents Jaq and Gus in a hurry as the
Fairy Godmother is going to tell them the Cinderelly story. Considering
that they've been with Cinderella since the events of the first movie,
and know what's been going on, I don't see the need for such a rush.
They know how these tales go down. Avoiding Pom Pom, the castle's token
fat douche cat, they still end up not making it in time. Punctuality is
a lost art among rodents I guess.
Gus suggests a new story, but Fairy Godmother says that there isn't any
other story, tough I think she's just screwing with them because lord
knows she has better things to do than tell a story to common house
vermin. But Gus decides that the mice should make their own story. And
with a little Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boogery, the mice and the Fairy Godmother
build a new book, as the mice tell stories involving Cinderella.
That's what I meant by a lame attempt at throwing what may have been
episodes from a scrapped show. This isn't one set plot like most
Cheapquels do. This is 3 stories compiled in a 80 minute movie. A few
other cheapquels did the same around this time including Atlantis 2, and
Belle's Magical World. Both of which were also met with the similar
disgust from fans that this received. Kinda lame when you really think
about it. I mean, this isn't Creepshow, it's Cinder-freakin-ella!
And with that we tell our first tale, involving Cinderella's first day
in the castle. And we begin this exciting tale with the mice bored as
hell. But the dullery comes to a cease as Cinderella and Prince Charming
finally return from their honeymoon. Cinderella has doubts that she can
be a proper princess, and prince cardboard cutout... I mean Charming,
tries to reassure her. Yeah, remember when I said in the Equestria Girls
review that Flash Sentry was "as dull as a Disney Prince"? This was what
However the King also believes Cinderella knows jack about being a
proper princess, and enlists the help of a woman named Prudence to teach
her how to be said princess of proper. Prudence is, as you might
suspect, pretentious and stuck up.
Prudence, as I've affectionately coined her, is ye royal douche.
However, she wasn't expecting to have to teach Cinderella how to deal
with the royal banquet. But if that wasn't the worst of Cinderella's
problems, Prince Charming has to leave to get a personality... I mean,
has to leave due to "Important matters of state". As Cinderella enters
the dank castle, she's greeted by her animal friends. Good thing she's
alone with her pals, or she'd be committed for talking to rodents.
The day approaches, and Cinderella starts her day like all princesses
do... cooking food for the mice. But before the deliciousness commences,
Prudence, and her hired help put a stop to things, and takes Cinderella
off to get dressed royally, and to learn the ways of being as stuck up
as she is, from posture, to telling the commoners to essentially piss
Ye... Royal... Douche!
And of course, the piled on amount of duties causes Cinderella to get
depressed, Well, the duties, and Ye Royal Douche being... ye royal
douche. However, thanks to her rodent compatriots, she realizes that
she's been following all these stupid rules for nothing since Prince
charisma vacuum... I mean Charming, likes her for her. And hey, since
it's been like 15 minutes, and the only song was the essential theme to
the series, let's have a rather dull happy song called, I guess "Make
your own way", as Cinderella changes things around, and lets the common
But lady broom up the ass still advises against it, as Cinderella kindly
tells her to sit and spin. well, she doesn't say it, but that's what I
assume she meant. So, the banquet finally happens, Cinderella dances
with children, and Ye Royal Douche is still being horrified by the
radical changes. and Then the king arrives. Who swerves in and out of
anger so much, that you'd swear Vince Russo was writing this cartoon.
So, Prince "a bottle of molasses has more charisma"... I mean Charming
shows up, Prudence apologizes (though let's be honest, she's just saying
that to keep her job), and everyone dances to end the first tale. And
after some more talking between the Fairy Godmother and the mice, it's
off to our 2nd tale, this time involving the mice, namely Jaq. The tale
begins with the lovable mouse pals in the garden trying to get flowers
This however, turns out to be a stupid idea as it attracts the attention
of Pom Pom, the royal cat. The duo escape with flowers still intact, as
they carry them to Cinderella's room, only to learn their efforts were
in vain, as Cinderella already has a giant vase full. And she has to now
prepare a royal festival. Didn't we just do something like this, only
with a banquet, and Ye Royal Douche?
And if you wanted some sort of romantic angle with Jaq and Mary, you get
it. Still, it's better than Cinderella and Prince "The Borelight
Zone"... I mean Charming. However, the mice encounter a problem as
Cinderella forgot the preparations list, and Jaq embarks to give it to
her. However, problems involving almost being stepped on, and a dropped
napkin leads to what else? CHAOS!
After Jaq nearly gets killed by a fat lady, he feels like crap because
he finds that he's of no use. So, Cinderella decides to have him help at
the stables. But an accident involving some hay has him lost before
Cinderella can see him. Jaq whines some more about not being big, as the
Fairy Godmother shows up...
and sits on him. Really helping build his confidence there F.G.
Sick of being treated like the little guy, Jaq wishes to be big. But he
doesn't just wish to be big, he wants to be human. Wise choice I guess,
as a giant mouse isn't exactly my idea of being useful.
Unless you want to screw around with Sylvester the cat at least.
Jaq gets his wish granted, and is now human. Pom Pom, not understanding
that he's not a mouse anymore because she's a stupid cat, follows him
around, as we get another very pointless song. At least it isn't a "song
every 5 minutes" like the other cheapquels were. I guess the fact that
it's a failed TV show has a lot to do with that.
Jaq finally encounters Cinderella, but before he can tell her of his
sudden evolution, he gets mistaken as a member of the royal committee,
and constantly called Hugh. But as he gets to the castle, Pom Pom lures
him with a piece of cheese, and after finally seeing her, he runs away.
Uh, I know you're still got some animal instinct and whatnot, but for
god sake, you're bigger than her. Just freaking kick her!
Just when it looks like it's curtains for our mouse man, Cinderella runs
into him again, and asks for him to accompany her. But he soon learns
that the fat lady is now dealing with the other mice. He saves them, but
now ends up having to take her to the dance. So, Jaq starts to begin to
realize being human sucks, as Fairy Godmother shows up to subtly guilt
"This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!"
It's time for the big spring festival. And "Hugh" has to dance with the
lady who earlier tried to murder him out of fear. And speaking of trying
to kill him, Pom Pom finally goes in for the kill. And as she chases
him, of course this leads to what else? CHAOS! The Fairy Godmother
returns to finally turn Jaq back to normal so he can help by stopping
the elephant. Or the elephant could miss him entirely and step on him.
Either way, win win. But there is no dead mice, as Jaq stops the
elephant, is happy to be who he is, and the 2nd story comes to an end.
Back to the side story with the mice and the book, as the use of magic
leads to more insanity, until Fairy Godmother puts the kibosh on it. And
this craziness reminds them of Cinderella's Stepsister falling in love.
Wait, if this involves her stepsister, then...
Yes, it's time for focus our story on the former "family" of Cinderella.
And with another ball approaching (does that frigging castle have a damn
day off from some sort of wacky event where chaos occurs?), Lady
Tremaine of course wants her daughters to snag an eligible bachelor.
Meanwhile, Cinderella is off to market, as her rag tag rodent gang comes
along. Too bad this is at the same time her former family is shopping.
However, lovesick Anastasia ends up walking into a bakery, and suffering
from love at first sight with the baker.
But before the baker can offer Anastasia a nibble of his strudel, the
always stuck up Tremaine puts a stop to it pronto. I'm starting to miss
Ye Royal Douche. Cinderella, quick to realize the situation, decides to
get involved. And with her animal minions, leads Anastasia and the baker
back to each other again. And since we've dealt with one cat, why not
the other, as the mice then have to deal with Lucifer, who causes a
horse to kick Anastasia.
They don't show it or course, but here's a reenactment.
Anastasia is a mess, and humiliated as you'd expect. Cinderella
eventually confronts her, and tries to cheer her up. Personally don't
see the need to be so invested since she treated her like crap, but I
guess it would fly against Cinderella's character to not at least try to
help others. She takes Anastasia to the castle, as we get more
foolishness with Lucifer and the mice.
Lucifer is finally going to kill the damn rodents, when he lays eyes on
Pom Pom, and falls instantly in love. Pom Pom, doesn't quite feel the
same way. And the mice use this to their advantage as they play animal
matchmaker. And it's time for another song. And like the other 3, it
blows tremendously. After a makeover montage, and that song, it's time
for Anastasia to impress the baker, as Cinderella tells her to not
listen to Lady Tremaine. Because, you know, Lady Tremaine just loves not
being in control of someone.
So she heads to meet the baker, but there ends up being more romantic
misunderstandings. Back to the more interesting plot, as Lucifer and Pom
Pom fall in love, and decide to both go after the mice. But that comes
to an end quick, as the mice outsmart them, the two have a rather quick
falling out. Back to the other plot, as Anastasia and the baker finally
see each other again, but of course Tremaine sticks her ugly head, and
puts a stop to things. But Anastasia finally tells her off, and goes to
the ball with the Baker. And they do, as the story finally comes to an
end. The mice finally finish the book, and give it Cinderella, and
that's the end.
And that's Cinderella II. The main problem with this cheapquel, other
than it being a cheapquel, is the fact that it's obviously 3 episodes of
a failed TV show, and none of the "episodes" were at all interesting.
It's just a film that never needed to be made into a series. The reason
"Aladdin" worked as an animated series as while they had a happy ending
in the beginning, there was so much more to Agrabah and the world around
it that you could build stories and adventures around it. In the case of
Cinderella, it doesn't work, and considering every story in this
cheapquel involved some grand event, it's obvious the ideas were already
low as it is.
That, and the music, while few and far between, sucked royally. And
Prince Horse Tranquilizer... I mean Charming is easily the most useless
prince character ever. The animation was decent, albeit Disney TV
quality at the time, so it's hard to fully complain. It's sad when the
only thing memorable is Ye Royal Douche, but then again, this film was
ye royal dud.