Tooncrap #12 - Doozy Bots

Oh, It's A Doozy Alright....
Sunrise: 1991

Written by: Raymond Gallant

It's often said that one should be thankful for what they have, but in dealing with the induction du jour, sometimes it's better to be thankful that for what we didn't get. Case in point with Doozybots, America's answer to Gundam.

In case you've been living under a rock, or just not an anime fan, you're probably well aware with Mobile Suit Gundam, an anime series by Sunrise has been around since as 1979, and is still around to this day in one form or another. It was, and still is massively popular in Japan, and many parts of the world. And with that success, Sunrise decided it was time to try to take on the most dangerous market of them all.

The American market.

But surely the kids in America (Whoa-oh!) were far too stupid to enjoy an anime with drama, action, and giant robots. Especially in an age where the Ninja Turtles were still the most dominant force both in animation, and merchandise. So if any show was going to have a chance at success, it would need to go with the flow, and Gundam as it was just wasn't going to cut the mustard. So, Sunrise sold their souls to the devils of conformity, and what we almost got was definitely a face-palm worthy experience. To this date, only a trailer for the show exists, as it never saw the light of the small screen.

So, let's take a look at this failure of a trailer, as we review this thing.

We open with an announcer telling us of a new exciting action comedy series coming in 1991. HEY KIDS, GET READY FOR DOOZY BOTS!

Doozy Bots, seriously? Likely that was just a placeholder title, but it's definitely not selling me on this exciting new series.

Through the magic of perhaps the most unenthusiastic singers ever, we meet Professor Doozy, who's "a wacky one." And if this trailer is any indication, not paying attention as a monkey steals his sandwich, and staring into a beaker as if he's seeing St. Elsewhere inside is certainly pretty damn wacky. He's also the head of a teen science club. And here they come.

And while we have a cliche scientist character, let's count the rest of the cliche characters.

Standard Jock leader extraordinaire? Check.

Cheerleader/Only female in the group? Check.

The fat guy? Check.

Early 90's skater dude, and cripple pulling double duty by also being the token black guy? Check and mate.

Ladies and gentlemen, our protagonists, the god damn Burger King Kids Club!

Oh, and two kids who add nothing to the show, other than "we have to appeal to the lil' keedz"? Check that as well.

So, according to the plot of this inanity, the teen science club have been assembled by Professor Doozy and his daughter to merge their bodies with robots in order to take on the other doozy bots of the professor that have become evil, and are now planning to build an army, and rob the world of FUN!!

Yep, not global conquest, the destruction of the planet, or anything logical. They wanna rob the world of FUN!

So this is where the Gundam aspect comes in. The kids merge with the Doozy Bots, which are designed similar to Gundams from the anime/manga. So, that's kinda cool, giant robot battles, and every...

Wow. Just wow. The premise of this show is essentially midget robot fights. And yet somehow this never got green lighted.

So, after all that exposition and midget robot silliness, we finally get to the action of the show, as the prof's rogue bots attack a power plant, so they can, and I wish this was something I could make up, power their robot turkey, which lays eggs that hatch into more members of the evil army. You know, I'd call that the most far fetched idea ever, but then I have to realize that I'm fine with the concept of mutated turtles that use ninjutsu and battle a walking can opener and his brain-alien lover.

The Doozy bots show up, and use their super powerful weapons, like... Bubblegum blasters, footballs, lassos, and a skateboard that turn into a hang glider for some odd reason. The Doozy bots make short work of these robots, and the trailer ends with the annoying narrator telling us that with Doozy Bots you'll get Bots of Action, Bots of fun, and Bots of Kids. That just sounds like it's bots of STUPID!

And that's the Doozy Bots trailer. The plot is beyond dumb, the characters are beyond cliche and stereotypical. The trailer really does nothing to sell me on how this show could possibly be a hit, even with the robo turkey. I mean, I know this was the early 90's, but even I think kids wouldn't be that dumb to watch this crap. But then again, a lot of us accepted far worse. This is definitely the 2nd worst possible use of an anime license ever. And yes, I'll be touching on that nugget soon.