Tooncrap #22 - Little Princess School

The Three R's: Rotten, Retched, Ripoff
Video Brinquedo: 2007

Written by: Raymond Gallant

Well, it's been a while since we've talked about our old friends the "Asylum of Animation", VIdeo Brinquedo. For those just coming in, Video Brinquedo is a Brazilian animation company best known for releasing mockbuster versions of hit animated movies, with terrible animation, destestable characters, and a dash of racism to boot. Most of the time they try to be discreet in their plagiarism. But, in this occasion, they're just being cocky little freaks.

Take a good look at the first pic in this induction. Take a good look at the characters, and see which ones look familiar. If you said they look like midget versions of Cinderella, Jasmine, and Snow White, you win the prize.

Here, take this copy of Don't Wake Daddy. The batteries are dead, and the mechanism to make daddy wake up is broken, but hell, it's yours.

Yep, Brinquedo unabashedly ripped off the designs for Disney's Princesses, and used them for their own DVD series "Little Princess School", which I can only assime is pseudo ripping off Winx Club. Yeah, that's a cartoon about a school of fairies, but you know, fairies, princesses, it's all girly crap. God I hate being an equal opportunity crap reviewer.

Little Princess School has actually seen a few episodes released, similar to Brinquedo's other abomination, The Little Cars. Each particular video contains several shorts. Each more nauseating than the last.

So, let's not waste any more time, and get educated on this school of scoundrels. Let's review this thing.

We open to the shot of fair "castle construction paper" as the theme song plays. The title card comes up, which still says "Escola de Princesinhas". This was dubbed in English (With 4Kids VAs as is the norm), but they didn't even have the time to fix their title card. God, what jokes. We then get the names of our princesses.

Cindy. Not even going to try and bullshit this one, are you Brinquedo?

Bianca. AKA White. AKA SNOW White. About as much effort used to cover this up like ol' "Cindy".

Hime. Now, most people seem to believe this is supposed to be Mulan, despite her most likely being Japanese, and not Chinese.

Because we all know how well their track record with the Asians has been so far.

Iria is next, who would later star in "The Frog Prince". Take a wild guess what that ripped off.

Finally there's Zade. Which I will admit, that's a bit more creative than coming up with Jasmy or some crap like that.

Ladies and gentlemen, our protagonists. The god damned Burger King estrogen club.

Our first episode is called Sleeping Beauties. You know, despite there not being a rip off of Aurora anywhere to be seen in this crap. We kick it off at night time in the castle, as we get some inane chatter from our heroines, In classic Brinquedo fashion. And I swear to god, they're all voiced by the same VA (Lisa Ortiz, AKA Amy Rose). Bianca apparently has a rooster in their room, which crows, and gets the ire of the teachers.

Yep, and one of those teachers is the Wicked friggin' Queen, or Madam Drastic as this schlock refers her as. And believing our heroes are up to no good, checks in on them. But of course, sees nothing out of the ordinary. But as she leaves, the princesses once again chatter to each other about Bianca's rooster.

Well, that didn't come out as planned.

After farm related idocy, we cut to the next day, as out heroines bitch about having to go to class. So, they instead decide to skip class, and head into a magic storeroom instead. They look around at the many stupid items, like a magic apple, and a pumpkin carriage. Get it? Cause Snow White and Cinderella involved that stuff.

After some near vandalism, the princesses find a magic spinning wheel, which Cindy believes is, and god help me I wish I was making this up, an "ergometric bicycle". Yes, an ergometric bicycle with an ominous needle on the front. A needle that the morons touch without any thought. And, as you'd guess, it puts three of the girls to sleep. Cindy becomes concerned that her friends are both asleep and retarded, and tries to find out, and gets help from a magic mirr...


The Magic Mirror introduces itself, and Cindy instantly believes it's a HD TV. And at this point I kinda wish Cindy got pricked with the needle and never woke up. The mirror informs her that the only way for our heroines to be awoken is from the kiss of a prince. Since this place is a princess school, they've hit a snag. While she waits for the mirror to load (what?) Lurch, the custodial elf of the school is headed to lock the storeroom, when he's stopped by Hime. And the whole segment is as pointless as you'd expect, telling us what we already knew. Back to Cindy and the mirror, which crashed. Well, that's what you get for using Vista, I guess. Hime comes in, and the two whine about Lurch possibly locking them in. they try to get the girls out of the room before Hime, under really no persuasion whatsoever, pricks her hand on the spinning wheel.

Little Princess School obviously doesn't teach common sense.

Lurch gets chewed out by Madam Drastic for not locking the storeroom door, as Cindy tries to find a way to save her friends. She too runs into Drastic, and bullshits her way out of trouble. Cindy decides to go into their room and grab Bianca's rooster (still not sounding right). And with the help of a little deus-ex rooster box, the girls are awakened, and leave the store room without getting in any trouble whatsoever. The end.

And that's Little Princess School. Good God what a piece of... Wait, there's another episode on this video? Dammit to hell. Let's review that too.

Our 2nd tale is "The Enchanted Toad". We begin with our heroines engaging in morning calisthenics, which is stopped by Cindy complaining about breaking a nail. I wish that was a joke. After that, it's more inane chatter, as the airheads forgot to bring something called a mandragorem root to Madam Drastic's class for the next day after the olympics (Special I take it). So, our heroines head to the forest to find one, while Iria runs into a toad.

*hint hint*

The toad tells her that he can find some of that root for her, if he gets a kiss in return. This repulses Iria, and raises the interest of Chris Hansen. She gives in, and kisses our amphibian antagonist.

Which works as well as you'd guess.

In order to aid the now warty moron, they run into a witch who promises to help them if they aid her ugliness problem. With the aid of the toad, they find the root they were looking for, and with the use of a magic book, and some other BS, are able to turn her back to normal. However, now she can jump better because she was a toad, or some stupid crap, which helps her win their Olympics. Madam Drastic wants answers, and again, they bullshit their way out of trouble. She finds the toad, and he gives her a lot of B.S in order to get her to kiss him. Which she does, turning him into a giant toad-man-thing.

And the girls laugh at the thought of her being raped by a giant toad thing, because, you know, she toadally deserved it. The End.

Sadly, there's one more short left, "Defenseless Princes", which I really don't want to put in the effort with since it's just as inane as the first two. We open again with the princesses daily exercise, their coach telling them that, and I quote:

"A princess has to be in great shape if she wants to do high stress shopping."

"How do I hate this company, let me tell the ways"

They chatter inanely for a while, until Bianca starts talking to a squirrel. The others, being the bitches they are, believe she's conspiring against them to pull animal related pranks. But that's not the case as apparently there's a monster or something at a school for princes. So, the next several minutes are filled with inane, sexist chatter, and plans to shirk whatever education they're supposed to get, so they can disobey orders, and then BS Madam Drastic later. Because Madam Drastic's supposed to be the villain apparently. The girls lie to her, and treat education like nothing because they're a bunch of spoiled brats, but she's the villain.

She's the Ed Rooney to their 5 Ferris Buellers.

I'll save you the trouble with this one. Nothing happens. Even less than the last two. They chatter, they act like snarky douches, run into a monster for a couple seconds, head back to the school, and get away with leaving the school grounds. The FRIGGIN' END!

And that's Little Princess School. Unlikable characters, bad animation, inane plots, and a waste of mildly tolerable voice actors. pretty much runs the gamut of our old pals Video Brinquedo But even for Brinquedo characters, these 5 are perhaps the worst yet. No defining characteristics whatsoever. All are airheaded, lying, uneducated, fashion obsessed dolts who are supposed to be our protagonists. What a load of crap. One could argue that yes, this is aimed for very little girls. But this really isn't worth giving to an infant, much less a little girl. This is despicable Tooncrap. But for our old Brazilian buddies, it's pretty much par for the course.