Tooncrap #38 - The Power Team
Written by: Raymond Gallant
You may recall a couple articles ago I looked back
once more at Captain N: The Game Master. And for all its terrible
animation errors and annoying characters, I realized the thing that
bothers me the most about it is the poor handling of some of the most
beloved video game characters of all time. From a frog voiced Mega Man
to a prissy Simon Belmont. It was an affront to our perceptions of these
great game icons. So if Dic could screw up a cartoon based on beloved
Imagine what Saban could do with characters
nobody gave a damn about.
In 1990, video game publisher Acclaim
wanted to try to get their hands in the pot of the video game cartoon
craze. And they would do so through the creation of a show called Video
Power. Video Power served as a video game tips and tricks show, hosted
by Johnny Arcade.
Who I still consider to be the humanized version of cocaine.
while for many the most enticing thing about Video Power was its tips
and tricks, the focal selling point for its first season was The Power
Team. A cartoon that featured all your "favorite" Acclaim video game
stars. You know, characters like...
Umm, that guy from NARC
That guy from Wizards and Warriors... You know, that Fabio guy.
Some guy from Arch Rivals
The Bigfoot Monster Truck because why not?
And Kwirk, who Johnny Arcade refers to as "America's favorite
Tomato". Ah yes, I remember the heyday of Kwirkmania. You couldn't walk
outside your house without seeing bootleg Kwirk shirts and everyone
singing the praises of him. Not bad for some forgettable game boy game.
There's also Johnny Himself who kind of acts like the Captain N of
the group. Only where Kevin actually gets in on the action, he's more of
the Charlie who leads his gaming angels into action.
Ladies and gentlemen, your protagonists. The god damn White Castle Kids
Complete with Hammerman Toothpaste so you'll never forget the taste.
Let's get into an episode of the Power Team to see just how
powerful they actually are. So let's get into the power and review this
thing. Specifically the first episode "Yes, We Have No Tomatoes". Not
even America's favorite tomato? Well, this episode dsisapoints me
We open the episode with two truck drivers carrying a haul of
tomatoes down the road, when they see a motorcyclist on the ground in a
heap. They go to check on him, but discover it's the old "fake injured
motorcyclist" gag. Damn. That one gets me every time.
Turns out the motorcyclist works for the main villain of the series,
the evil Mr. Big, stereotypical fat mobster extraordinaire. He chases
off the drivers with his car as he happily exclaims that yes, we have
lots of tomatoes. Wait, we do? Dammit title, you lied to me. I thought
we were friends!
He has his hired goons shoot the tomatoes in the
truck, and commandeer the truck for themselves.
Boy, Albert Wesker really needed the money, didn't he?
Meanwhile, the Power Team are hiding out in tomatoes as they try to
protect one of the few remaining shipments not destroyed by Mr. Big.
Though I don't see the point in hiding in the tomatoes, especially since
they're riding Bigfoot, you know, an easily recognizable Monster Truck?
Tyrone (The Arch Rivals guy) complains about hiding in tomatoes, which
Kwirk finds to be very offensive towards tomatoes.
He just said he didn't like hiding in them, he didn't slight
tomatoes themselves. Nobody likes a social justice tomato, Kwirk.
Meanwhile, Mr. Big has his cronies set up fake cows on the road, so
that the next tomato shipment will have to stop. Or, you know, any other
vehicle that has to stop. I mean, this isn't just a world where Tomatoes
are the only thing sent via truck... is it? Turns out the cow trap works
as Bigfoot (who has a redneck accent. Because monster trucks are a
redneck sport, get it?) sees the boarded bovine and comes to a halt.
Tyrone confronts Mr. Big, who shoots a missile at him. Turns out a
simple toss of a basketball is all that needs to be done to put a stop
to heat seeking missiles. I guess the Pro Stars weren't as terrible an
idea as I thought. Before Tyrone can get blasted by lasers, Bigfoot
makes a bee line toward Mr. Big. Mr. Big however has a plan for that as
he literally throws a brick wall at the truck, and splatters ink in its
headlights, somehow blinding the truck.
Before Spike (The Wesker looking crony) can ram Bigfoot, Kuros
(Fabio), puts a stop to it) as his other crony Joe is stopped by Max
Force (The NARC guy). Before they can celebrate, Mr. Big threatens to
lob a grenade at Bigfoot, and advances on the Power Team with black
cartridges, which I guess send them back to their video game worlds.
However, when he mispronounces tomatoes as "tomahtoes" this sends Kwirk
into a rage as he tosses his brethren at the girthy goomba. He was
defending the rights of tomatoes, and now he's just straight up killing
them. No wonder he got like one video game.
The power team manage
to defeat Mr. Big's gang with more basketballs and tomatoes, before
sending them into retreat, as they head to "Tomahto" warehouse.
Sometime later, Kwirk (dressed as a detective for some ungodly
reason) arrives at the warehouse to confront Mr. Big in his tomato sauce
warehouse. Turns out Mr. Big's plan is to extort the pizza companies as
with them being the only sauce game in town, they plan to charge the
companies ten times what they're worth.
Kwirk confronts Mr.
Big's gang, and manages to beat them by strategically knocking down a
bunch of well placed boxes and cans. He eventually gets cornered, and
before he can get kick some heinz quarters, he gets placed on a hook, as
Mr. Big plans to can him for good. And what are the rest of the Power
Staying at home, saying how it was pretty stupid of Kwirk to go on
his own to confront Mr. Big. You know what's stupider? NOBODY GOING TO
They follow a pizza truck, as a pizza man named Pops provides a
distraction for the Power Team to go on the attack of Mr. Big. They
easily beat him and save Kwirk, managing to put a stop to their
tomato... err... tomahto plan.
Tomato, tomahto, let's call the
whole thing crap.
And that's The Power Team in a nutshell, and
while it's a crappy cartoon for it's rushed stories, dull characters,
and overall foolishness, I didn't have a hatred for it as much as I did
Captain N. It was a much easier cartoon to sit through as it never got
to the point of being really bad. However, as a glorified commercial for
Acclaim products, it fails miserably. In the end, I'm no more interested
in Wizards and Warriors or Double Dribble as I was before watching this.
And that's probably the biggest problem of all. So, in the end, it's